The Holy War
The self-destructive salvation plan of laughter in spiritual traditions
So let's talk about the ego
Ego is a concept that is understood in various ways. Each individual has his own conception of her own structures, and their purpose, as does each have a unique relationship to these structures. It is in this relating to that spirituality finds its culmination point. There are numerous spiritual developments that teach that the ego is something to get rid of. The Holy War of which I write on this page can however turn out to become a self-deceiving trap, if it is understood amiss. When one attempts to change oneself in a way, in which some aspects of the self are resisted, one wittingly or unwittingly creates more conflict and tension within oneself. One is fragmented into many selves, of which the superego is most likely chosen as the warlord - the ideal of self, that one turns to to worship, and punishes himself in her vain pursuit to reach the level of worth of the ideal, which in the end, doesn't make him happy.
The ego laughs not, but of ridicule.
Survival
Strong beliefs, behavioral patterns, opinions and emotions invested in them, may manifest themselves in new light, if examined through the lens of survival strategies.
In moments of life and death - or in moments, when we have felt our lives threatened or compromising a sense of basic safety - we have created survival strategies and beliefs that operate deep in sub-conscious structures.
Confronting fear of death on all areas of the persona, that are built on survival instinct, releases from those structures and patterns of behavior.
your ego needs to understand that death is not a real threat in the present moment anymore. Even if it were, the mind has the power to overcome fear of death altogether.
The greatest victory in the Holy War is the defeating of the fear of death, which results to peace and trust, a live loving freedom of joy. But death must be faced - to face.
When one is already dead, is anything else left than life?
Pleasure
There is no greater pleasure than life itself. However, by pleasure in ego's terms I don't mean flow and the state of seamless progression of being, doing and communicating in the miracle of life. That is spiritual pleasure, of course not excluding physical pleasure that the body can provide.
But the ego seeks to compensate spiritual poverty with matter - in one form or the other. Pleasure is always outside you and it keeps you running after happiness, only to make you stop for the duration of your ritual, so as to elevate the amount of pleasure. Yet the futility does not stop - not to listen, not to see, nor to sense. Personal pleasure is a cheap consolation for the greatness, which each one can join in accepting her relationship as a creator in Creation itself.
Structures chasing after pleasure or inflicting punishment on oneself are truly a prison and an obstacle for life living. It is for the very obstacle of integrating one's emotions that these mechanisms are designed. They serve to distract.
One breaks free, when one no longer runs away, but rather confronts one's own emotions and thoughts just as they are.
If the options are chasing temporary sensual enjoyment or confronting nasty emotions, then in which lies freedom?
Relationships and identity
How do I look? How do I appear to be?
Am I accepted?
Will I be loved?
The two previous categories can practically exist without other people, but a child cannot exist without others. A human being is practically "designed" to adapt to conditions of his childhood social environment, and even later on in life. During this time we assimilate many strategies for satisfying our needs. It shows in identity, in interaction, attachment styles, partner - and friendship choices.
When one examines his social life in relation to survival and pleasure generating strategies, one can find interesting patterns. The ego, however, is gratifies also through the validation of one's self-image - when seen in a desired way. This realm of the ego's "higher needs and ambitions" in a more complex subject matter, the examination of which begins by recognizing forms of self-conceptualization on various levels.
How interesting the connection between the inner and outer self-image, identity and the question for basic survival - will I loved and accepted? Or will I be abandoned?
Separation is a threat to survival.
The ego deduces that belonging can be earned.
The purpose of the Holy War is to undo the self that one has made. It begins in the recognizing and accepting of personal structure. Then the warrior battles herself, acting consciously contrary to his own habits and beliefs. The aim of this practice is to break the schematic cage of being oneself.
Have you wondered why people want to go crazy in the first place? Get drunk, drugged and danced to trance - or in any other way get beyond the conscious, known, 'me' (DMN)?? I think there is an instinct imprinted in our sub-conscious by our spiritual nature, serving the objective of expanding consciousness and relinquishing adopted structures. What do you think?
Thus is Holy War truly ludicrous! At least from ego's view point. One is not intended to take oneself seriously at all, but rather slay oneself in the most positive of definitions. The only mistake that one can make in this war is to take it seriously. Severity is a tell-tale sign of the ego. Warriors seem brave, strong and serious, but the warrior reaching for enlightenment cannot relate to her structures as archenemies, for thus would he only make them more real. The warrior steps into the abyss of one's suffering, and death, but walks out gleaming with life.
The spiritual warrior falls in love with death, because death is understood as the greatest friend of life. The warrior knows that she cannot die. Only the old dies, the death of which is the victory of the new. Neither does the new matter, because even the new gets old. Growing bored with his composition, the warrior kills herself again. What a delightful game!
What is intended to be achieved through this game?
This game of adults grown dull onto themselves is intended to teach to let go of identification to ego and the persona - the structures of oneself. The mind is molded mellow and flexible so the one fallen in love with the mystery may to an even greater degree of freedom explore the reality, nature, possibility and power of oneself and surrounding reality. Affinity with the infinity that the suicidal game teaches. The aim of the Holy War is freedom.
Holy War is most effectively fought in the presence of the dementors and all the assholes of your life, notwithstanding how you made them up or from where you attract them to you. Understand that your greatest tormentor is your savior. That which the spiritual warrior cannot stand he makes the object of her greatest love, for the enemy helps the warrior to break free from the prison of his self. Acting in such a way the warrior, nevertheless, never abandons the core of her self. He understands that the dementor may only torment within the confines of the prison. When the confines are known and one's power harnessed correctly, seizes also the torment. There is nothing to clutch to. The enemy has become friend and if that pleases not your former enemy, will he surely vanish from your life. The Holy War has reached truce, at least for the time until a new savior in disguise appears in your life! The opportunity that presents itself to you in such a life lesson is immense!
In war you learn to know yourself
The spiritual warrior nevertheless reveals himself not. War is not the objective, but a means. The warrior is in a state of peace when entering conflict, that she either himself conjures up or which already exists. In Holy War everyone has the opportunity to win.
A word of caution
That which I describe is constantly happening everywhere. We are continuously receiving mirroring - and we remain either grateful or resentful for what we have learned. Holy War is nonetheless intentional, and then it can also be practiced consciously in sufficiently conscious company. Friendships and romantic relationships may be environments safe enough if both understand the value in what pushing others raw naked makes possible. However, if this game remains unconscious it becomes insulting and nasty toward others. Do weigh in your heart whether your motives are pure. For the spiritual warrior wills no harm.
Recommendations for reading
Especially humorous has is been to read and listen Carlos Castaneda'sbook series the Teachings of Don Juan. A teacher of sorcery digs deep into spiritual warrior traditions and its core phenomena while attempting to attract an analytical and rational academic out of the confines of his mind and persona. The books go deep into mysticism, magic and nature of reality. A most strongly recommended read! Or a few reads!
Toinen itsensä tappamiseen perehtyvä teos, josta olen tietoinen, on Elisabeth Haichin Vihkimys.
Kannattaa tutustua shamanismiin, noituuteen ja ikivanhoihin soturiperinteisiin. Olen varma, että sieltä löytyy materiaalia, joka ei sääli ihmistä yhtään.
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