Who are you without the world?
Who are you without the people in your life?
Who are you without this person, that you seem to live and act each living day?
Who are you without your thoughts, wishes, problems and emotions?
What remains?
…
Paradox
Mystery
Relationship
I claim this to be your most important relationship. It is your relationship with your existence, your relationship with the mystery, your pathway to infinity, the impersonal, the endless, the immortal. The channel in your Soul's relationship with eternity and perfect freedom, your unbelievable part in power, knowledge and reality shared. The gifts of the journeys you've taken!
That consciousness is alive in you now!
The established relationship
The Primary Relationship is no thing one creates. Nothing needs to be done - apart from withdrawing from doing. What has been done needs to be made unmade, however, in the extent that it obscures Its reality. Only for the process of outlining and understanding that structure does it make any sense at all to discuss this. The foundation of your Reality is by no means within the sphere of your own influence, neither is your immortality. You will never cease to exist. Herein is the Relationship alive and complete, as is Reality, and as are You. Let us admit that if you live in your head and listen to the ego's drivel, you have already lost your way deep into that fuzzy structure you call reality. But if having realised it is only your reality, so have you taken a fateful step forward.
The claim that each create their own reality is true because one can embellish or stain reality with one's own thoughts, and regardless of the amount of decoration, it is the reality being experienced. But what is shared reality? Where abides its infinity? Own reality hardly has any meaning, for it cannot be communicated. If one's own reality means the same to a person than own truth, so has truth also been rendered meaningless, and the door opened - to a self-righteous illusion. Only truth unites and it lives in Relationship that is shared and is there to be experienced always. You exist in an infinite shared reality. But in the situation in which you live the lives of two people, values the other only the eternal and the other the temporary. If you want to be your authentic self you must begin an integration process between these to lives. It begins by initiating internal communication - which eventually reveals to you that there is only One You and One Life.
Relationship is ultimate Reality.
The world of excess concepts
If there is something that separates man and animal, then, as it appears to me, at least the seeming fact, that the majority of the animal kingdom cannot engage in abstract thinking. For one, imagination enables the expansion of consciousness through separating a part of oneself from the experience and its identification, which one is currently living, an ability which establishes the grounds for self-reflection. Awareness of one's involvement in the world enables intentional and critical action, orderliness and deliberate creation. Abstract thought recognizes building blocks and webs of possibility that it uses to compose the unique in the liking of its vision. Few animals have this ability, although it may be that we don't know how to recognize it in many cases. The dynamic between the current reality and abstract thinking relates nevertheless to the mind's ability to differentiate. Creation, however, occurs on a level transcending and preceding imagination, reason, intuition and observation. Spirit is the one that creates and realises - and Will executes. Therefore the creative mind remains crippled without Spirit that transcends the mental system.
While the curse and blessing of humanity - the conscious mind - can separate from reality, the spirit never departs truth.
Structural knowledge
Self-knowledge has many levels because we are multidimensional beings. There is the body, the mind and the soul, there is spirit - and some kind of a confusion in defining them. We often attribute the development of self-knowledge to our relationships, the very teachers of our lives. We learn to recognize boundaries, wishes and wounds in relationships - but the very same way we can learn of our configuration in relation to structures surrounding us. This mental, social and physical matrix is full of (thought)structure, wherein differences and similarities mirror back to us our own organization of personality and preference. However, it would be a mistake to liken Primary Relationship as your relationship with the structural labyrinth of an outer self and so call it self-knowledge, because I am talking about something a lot more profound. Firstly, it can be argued that the majority of conflict arises from collision of structures. It the same than saying that identification with structure limits creative freedom. Therefore I speak of relationship with That, Which is not the me, which is mostly a reactive composition. I am not describing your relationship to the person you have grown into and taught yourself to be, but that That in you, which is created and will forever be.
We all breathe the same life. We are born and die in the very same space. One and same intelligence directs all created life, which we share, at least in this dimension of reality. We all share this imprint of Creative Intelligence - or creative principle. It is indelible and inevitable. You exist. Life is happening right now. Every moment is alive and full of it. You are Life - Existence which is seamlessly interwoven with all that is, the Spirit of Life itself. This is called by many names, and it may not be worth it to argue about terminology here. I am simply addressing something, that undeniably exists and is available to everyone - as an inescapable foundation for all of life. How fascinating and endless the mystery, that each one has - as an individual relationship with it! If scientific approaches into something that cannot be seen interest you - although it is visible everywhere - you might find interested in the Unified Field Theory.
Because life is, and you are life, must life be your true Self. What makes it more real is its permanence. It does not change. It is - Now - eternally. . At least to me, this aspect of being is the greatest source of happiness and peace, for the tranquil confidence that surfs every moment is not subject to oscillations of the world nor of persona, but instead unshakably witnesses from beyond and amidst the whole world. Consciousness is. What is wholeness?
Experiences of divine fulfillment derive from heightened awareness and the understanding of oneself as part of ever greater and greater wholes. You are life. It is no epic story, but a relationship to be experienced with the very allness as a unique part of it. It transcends fantasy. You experience it right now, while perfectly loved and respected, however, it is free from all story. It transcends individuality - in the impersonal nature of the Relationship
So yes, in a way - Primary Relationship is your relationship to Self. It is your relationship with your personal teacher and guide - with your higher self. The eternal forerunner, the creator of reality. It would in fact be easier to call it one's relationship with God, because for most people this deeper relationship is not part of their conscious experience. But You are that Creative Relationship. You are intrinsically one in God. A lot can be done to remember this Relationship. That Something is no longer separate, as it never was - a distant object of worship - but an utmost intimate part of oneself and everyday life. And so is a fundamental differentiation and fragmentation of one's self made undone, and one's entire life written anew.
The nature of the Relationship is shared power, knowledge and life.
Therefore you cannot immerse yourself and participate in the wonder of creation without opening your mind to also see the same intelligence working in others.
Equality is the law of Relationship.
The Creative Power is the basic right of each.
The Creator is One in All.
Inner Child
Trauma work, recognizing and healing one's own wounds and early coping strategies constitute a part of the integration process, in which an individual that shattered himself to pieces, becomes whole again. There will be no whole life without unwept tears and rage of stilled screams - not before we acknowledge to ourselves the choices we have armed with willpower. A change of mind? Will is directed differently when stories or entire lives carried by different parts and sides of us are heard. We eventually return to the crucial moment when we shattered ourselves. The tears unmake the gaps. This process can be rather chewy. The power of Will is strong. We have used it to make ourselves bigger or smaller; to suppress things that want to rise to be freed. There is an immense amount of energy tied up to these things, and when they are released, is this energy and potential available for creation - to ends extending outwards from self. The child learns many strategies to harness willpower in ways that may have served in some past moments, but no more. The integration process begins when one realises that he is no longer living the past, but simultaneously notices living it. And when an individual experiences sufficient safety and support - either around or within himself - does that trustful environment in the present invite inner prisoners to freedom. The state of trust I described results from the depth and strength of the Primary Relationship, for only truth can remain certain. It is an anchor that never fails, a compassionate smelter.
The joke is of course that one was never not whole. Nobody can be crushed, for the spirit will not vanish. The entire universe may blow up in pieces, and yet you remain. Therein lies your peace and power. It is the other side of the Relationship. This is so powerful and irresistible that each one that lives an inner conflict, even in slightest of degrees, is afraid of Love's eternal reality, and letting go of resisting it.
The child lives in innocence, but also in imagination. Early wounds are caused in life experiences in which Authenticity has been proven worthless. But it can be nothing else than a misunderstanding. How many children remember this? The child is fully engaged in the wonder of this reality and immerses in its play. And does take it quite seriously, as is intended. But how many care givers encourage the child to explore and search for their immortal nature? The inner child carries simultaneously an immense creative potential as well as all the memories, subconscious or conscious vows to hide, "enlarge" or diminish authentic selfhood. Nevertheless, past pain is nothing. Where is it but in memories? Where else than in a story that you resist current reality with? Where else than in a persistent identity problem that you have invested your whole life with? And where else does its heaviness stem from than from resisting letting the story go? Where else than from fear and guilt - the hesitance of stepping to Love?
You yourself have made these reactionary constructs, as a survival strategy in shared circumstances.
But who is supposed to survive?
They also carry their part of the painful fragment. One's pain is everyone's pain - and the joy of one the joy of all.
For there is only one pain.
Behold thy work, Magician, who gaze upon that which is no more!
And make heavy that which is nothing!
Such is its importance to you!
Your story!
Relationship with death
This that I speak of can also be discussed in terms of relationship with or to death. Because there is no death, it is frightening only to those who are yet to remember their immortality. And what could address one's relationship with spirit more intimately than death? Only Love.
In the issue of death is the orientation of one's mental landscape revealed:
Am I spirit or body?
The body is afraid to death. It is supposed to live! The body have been granted time from eternity, fragile shelter, safe in the cycle of death and rebirth. Yet does the spirit but smile away, in immortal faith. When you find your immortal faith and trust you are free, because you understand that you are a creator - in a body. You cannot lose anything, for only opportunity remains. The spirit excludes nothing but the body can be used to distract from creative reality. The other causes not the other.
I liken the body within the sphere of the spirit. Spirit precedes matter and enlivens the body. And when one is, as they say, spirited away, remains but the body - and behind. Dust for the dusters of kin. It is like a grand joke. What remains is but a miserable withering pile of skin. maybe a few flowers, some smoke and ash. The body matter remains in the recycling of matter in the universe. It is an interesting invention, and has it's own place for respectful appreciation. That's all. The body is a hopelessly feeble shelter. The body is afraid to the grave.
Am I that sack of skin?
The answer and its nature has long-reaching psychological effects. Of course the body isn't pitiful. It is only hopelessly impermanent, and therefore secondary. But as an instrument in time, of primary importance. Furthermore. Because energy is derived from the spirit, and streams into the body, is there really no limit - except for a few physical laws (?) - in how intense energy one can charge the body with.
I present two extreme examples of possible effects such a matter of identity might generate (spirit vs. body). You may yourself examine your own mind of how fundamental this is.
A person thinking he just merely a body, has two options in my opinion, from the very extreme opposites of possibility: To live in utter meaninglessness and ignorance, for the future concerns not him. In all its impermanence she is but a meaningless act in a good-for-nothing life, and can live accordingly - as one wants. Besides this the materialist - the consumer - focuses on reality that is already known to him. She consumes people and stuff until he is sick of the world - in fact she grows dull to himself. Dreams, needs and wishes address that which she has already seen or learned from the past or elsewhere. He does not know who s(he) is. A necrosis creating. I think that in a case like this an individual suffers from a deep wound in her authenticity of self. The mindscape features an abundance of limitation and if-maybe-buts. He/she is her/his ego - not an heir of intelligent infinity.
The mortal may also cling unto life fully, afraid to the last breath of losing all of value in one's short life, a phenomenon unfolding from the subconscious shadow manifesting itself as an unbalanced relationship to money, career, power, authority, influence, food, sex, relationships and to all areas of life, in which the body, the temple of specialness, provides any benefit and joy at all. Surely the body is a source for pleasure and joy, but an unbalanced orientation to the material and and to the spiritual unfolds into various addictions to stuff, be that drink, food or drugs. also people. Before most, a consumer is small, afraid and lost from his true potential. The one applying matter, the creating, contrarily greater. One who has dealt with death most unlikely takes life too seriously through a different understanding of life. Death is understood as peace, for it is nothing. Love is the only reality. Does therefore anything else remain than joy and laughter?
But maybe one should first cry a little!
Maybe just a little frequently enough as to not forget the reality of the relationship?
And laugh of relief!
Overt spirituality
Interestingly, the individual relating to life exceedingly spiritually may turn his attitude as a source for ignorance the same than a full-blooded materialist. One can deny the physical aspect of life, and step to illusion, despise death and harness the ideology to not live. Life is in a relationship alive, not in an obsessive ego trip to the absolute - worshiping some Image.
The time the materialist chases worldly experience does the überspiritual sit in idleness.
or in ritual behaviour leading nowhere.
When the ultra-spiritual begins reaching for that which he is not yet ready for, are significant opportunities for growth missed - opportunities for which one initially came into this expression of reality, which is life, anyway. The ultra-spiritual can also deny the obviousness of her problem in life and harness his ideology to avoid meeting her worldly responsibilities, responsibilities that are there to ensure the continuation of life on this planet. Spirituality is not selfish, although extreme selfishness teaches tremendously about life, and the Relationship, through negation and pain. However, negation lacks love and therefore also creativity.
But I'd prefer to not use the term responsibility - but describe it rather as an indelible desire to serve life as a unique part of it. I for one have not been able to break the spell that calls me to connect and cocreate! It is the shameless definition of selfishness to partake in it as oneself.
The two prior extremes - the materialist and the überspiritual - are coupled by a similar orientation - separation, that by denying connection, involvement and responsibility allows for ignorance. Ignorance is somewhat inevitable in this limited experience, because attention cannot go everywhere on a narrow path with a destination. One's own path is attended, and so can a conscious human not neglect his own part into ignorance. Interestingly enough, while the ultra-spiritual demeans her relationship's reality with the surrounding physical dimension, with its possibilities, necessities and limitations, does the materialist, contrarily, deny his higher purpose along with her spiritual reality of being.
Neither is whole and can therefore not life a fulfilling, purposeful and meaningful life.
For true identity is Love
purpose is to Love
which is spacious
Because we remain forever and ever in an inevitable Relationship with Our Self.
I am Life
How do I treat Myself?
Weakness begins from the sense of separation in relationship with self and life's multidimensionality - it is the root of meaninglessness. It is blindness, and it the black holes of the Relationshipt there is room for all sorts of suffering. Yet the Will to exist for life reflects our relationship with the understanding that we are all of the one and same life. This is the Strongest Bond, and it is Love, Life itself.
All true healing occurs within the reclamation of this Relationship, which aligns your body, your mind and your spiritual side in order. I witness this miracle often in the work I do. When I make and hold the space for a higher intelligence, the self-organizing principle begins to correct and put in order beliefs, things, emotions, energies and sometimes even limbs. It is a privilege that belongs to all to partake in witnessing the beauty of that process. To even further promote the significance of the relationship, it also restores peace in your life through the Knowledge, Which you have always known. Therefore true peace is in recognizing, experiencing and knowing the Relationship. The experience leaves one with an eternal imprint without substitute. It automatically reclaims its rightful place as number one in the hierarchy of value. There is the understanding of one's purpose and true foundation for existence found. From there you create your own life. From there you express that who you truly are. Therein is your fulfillment, and you will not do with less. And it is nothing special. Yet it is truly miraculous.
You are strength
You are Light, Love and Life
Only the narcissist has understood it wrong.
For the narcissist limits it to himself
makes special herself
Disproportionality
Yet a different configuration is also possible. One can harness the mind to serve the body, in which case the body becomes the purpose of life. Everything one thinks, dreams of and wishes for relates to the body and one's bodily, separate identity - to an image's helpless dream, in the ending of which did only love experienced and learned account to something, because only then was the person part of something greater. It is of course not wrong, it is simply a different experience. The pitfall of such an orientation is, however, the risk to end up in imbalance with the rest of life, thus demanding great effort to treasure that which one has attained. Personal benefit is always impermanent, which in the end makes all related effort futile, for it leads to frustration in the hopeless pursuit of compensating the lack of a deeper meaning in life through success in the world. Relationship is Law and has no alternative. If it does, tell me!
Such disproportionality hardly persists, if one is in communion with a deeper reality in oneself. It identifies for life and shares all it has attained with the rest of life. This is greater than personal gain, which the worship of the "me" represents, for in Love each merges with All That is. Love expands and so it grows. But it seeks not to change anyone. Love only does its part in a dialogue between individuals and the totality of creation.
The mind and the spirit should, however, not be mingled, as then mingle also fantasy and reality. The mind is greater and more powerful than the body. And may so seem almost godlike. Rationale, intelligence and imagination are powerful faculties. Also does the mind have creative potential, yet it remains helplessly partial without appropriate relationship to its superior. If one nevertheless confuses the spirit and the mind, does he enter a world of dreams. He may perceive herself as almighty, and can indeed cultivate quite some power, strength and confidence, but it will all crash if a conflict with the will of one's Higher Self persists. The Law is One, and so must Will also be - one. There is no limit in developing one's power, neither in growing shared power. Each may do as one wants. It is the point of all of this. But not one is alone in the consequences of his creation(s). You will never escape that which you create. Before most, not one escapes one's Self. Learn, then, from the Great Master, which shares Its power. True godhood is sharing power - step into humbleness and receive your Gift.
When time is ready, one may have transcendental and mystical experiences in or after which latent abilities are activated that are made available through one's connection to one's higher Self. As a result of the experience, however, one realizes one's understanding of oneself as limited. This reflects the nature of the Primary Relationship as a solution between levels - the journey and the destination, finity and infinity. The transcendental and knowledge. The known and the unknown. The creator and the created. In these analogical terms God is justly likened as superior, as the eternal forerunner. The acceptance of this is a necessity for spiritual growth - for otherwise: who would teach whom?
The greatest learning is remembering
The journey is always on the way.
The ultimate victory of Love
If you grow sick of light speech, and want to explore darkness, go ahead and advance to the shadow.
while the ego lives in a constant strive,
seeking for specialness and amazement,
or in its attempt for invisibility or muteness,
the enlightened state of mind simply wonders the entirety of life!
A materialistic worldview does not encourage to consider the vast reality, which reveals itself to an individual that accepts the invisible. And at this point, when one realizes the invisible is real, the situation in the mind does not get any easier. There are a million questions, that the body sees no answers to. Nonetheless a knowing and a sensing of something other persists. There is conflict between various forces. There is a lot of many. Thus must a progressive balance be established between different levels. The One Relationship reminds you of Who you are and offers an anchor point for the experiencing of life's infinite spectrum of diversity. That, to which it leads, is the expression of your deepest nature in the world - The ultimate victory of Love in your life.
Primary Relationship therefore is your communion with your self - in all ways! It is the relatedness of the two polarities of our existence, of which the other naturally reclaims its place as the Master and the other as the servant. Yet you can influence that process! Your spiritual Reality is independent of the world, being a Creator-Being. It is infinite. It is formless. It is Spirit. It is one with all of life, for it shares the same Life and Knowledge. It is You, as is this You in your body, yet it is not you - in the individual sense - but rather that how the non-individual expresses itself through the individual. This infinite spirit functions everywhere and on all levels. It transcends boundaries, nonetheless functioning within boundaries. Therefore Primary Relationship is the bridge between the finite and the infinite self. It is your relatedness between your persona and your Self and Its relationship to All That Is. It is the Communion of the known and the yet to be discovered. It is the portal to life's deepest mysteries and truths, for what else could navigate between realities than the spirit? This is the Mystery of Life that each seek to solve in their own way! Because there is always more and at the same time there is nothing else. This force is creative tension that expands from the known to the unknown and beyond, from the smaller to the greater, nearer to the inevitable destiny - finity expanding within infinity - within the all-encompassing Love that creates within itself. In that Eternal Bond, in which unfold all of Life.
Your worldly self is your to mold. You are the master of your mind and you mind commands the body. You are not your mind, nor its content, nor your emotions. The human condition resists change! It designed to maintain that which has been established. It's function resembles that of automation, but it also makes possible the receiving of information of the vast playing field of the world. Your body and your worldly self is an instrument. This mortal composition vanishes with the body, so it is not to be taken too seriously, but how ideal of a toy to use to witness the power of mind over matter!
But does it serve that which you are for?
Who owns this suit of clothes?
If you are your own slave, reclaim your vehicle!
And Who is left, when the suit is gone?
Who am I?
What is my purpose?
The world self
If you are not your persona nor your body, then shouldn't you be able to modify them? Yes. Although I must at this point remind of the trap to which feelings of inadequacy lead - the vain mix of perfectionism and individualism. Only the spirit can experience true worth, for it is wholy. Without Spirit as the superior, the mind is lost, and neither does the body have a purpose of true meaning. From a place of worthlessness can a lovable self never be made, because love is not created. It is. So does the new grow only from wholeness, through acceptance. You are already created perfect. There is nothing you can do to surpass your innate value as Who You Are.
To what extent is the perfecting of persona, body, mind, thinking, energy and physiology purposeful?
( If and when perfection is solely defined in its relatedness with purpose! )
I discuss the relationship between mind and matter and the creating a new me more thoroughly here. I am casually updating the page. Did you know, for example, that the latest neuro and gene research reveals that not only our environment but also our thoughts shape DNA. Well, of course, because we are spiritual beings in bodies, and not their captives. How great the power in this!
Spiritual sight
The Relationship with the Beyond which is also the here-on - whole - enables vision that recognises the created and the creating. True vision has nothing to do with the body's eyes, but with transpersonal knowledge and understanding, that knows to distinguish itself in others and others in itself. It sees the Relationship in everything, and so is the Relationship not complete for an individual until she sees it also in others. The Light, also in its dimmest of shades, is already there to be seen.
How wonderful the sight of truly free people!?
But only if one is free to see.
True vision reveals in each the light and the life. At the same time it witnesses the pain of not living. It calls to union, summoning reality to step forward by enforcing it, for so it is that it grows itself. Not one is left alone. The well-being of the totality of creation is a priority of all.
The Relationship is understood by seeing the One in all and the All in One.
The creative necessity is returned.
Integration
I have attempted to describe some consistent patterns in the integration process of the physical, the personal and the spiritual. The ultimate law of progress leads to merging of all polarities into one, in which the mind that divides reality is made undone, and so remains but an authentic and seamless flow of life. My aim in writing about this is to motivate and inspire people to prepare for a greater reality. Multidimensionality is life in its creating of itself. The reality of the Relationship is infinite.
Who are you?
I may have answered for you, but I cannot. Not one can answer for you, because it has already been answered. Immerse yourself with the Mystery/Answer of You and hear your own song.
As long as you embrace the truths of others as your self, you are not your self.
Whose life are you living?
But who then to trust if not myself? Be the object of faith whichever, truth will crush all lies eventually. This means that there is an inherent guiding system in each. Our civilization is full of various methods and traditions for finding and understanding Life's Greatest Truth. It must be the highest form of art and science to try and wrap this up! Nevertheless is the expedition not complete without silence of remembering, not without learning through living and experiencing that living reality of the relationship with the mystery, of which the most important you know by heart. I warmly recommend throwing yourself in a loving consciousness with your self, other selves and life. Yet. In the hopes, that this text would benefit some, I have listed some pathways, which I have seen to address That, of Which I speak. In the end the scope of possibility is endless, in which the One Eternal Relationship - Creation - can be explored, expressed and attempted to teach. When eyes open, can all be seen in a different light. It is the gift of the expansion and deepening of consciousness. Go with your spirit! Here below there is some to open some eyes.
I wish you joy, inspiration and awe as you wonder the nature of reality and your self on your journey from wherever to wherever! I wish you striking moments of truth in its nakedness, in its firm gracefulness. Advance courageously and humbly into yourself in this miracle, which is Life. And seek from the depths the experience of unconditional gratitude.
If you wish to get to know something new I have listed a few trail-ends here for a deeper understanding.
Exercises
If you've been running the hamster wheel all your life and a sense of meaninglessness has begun to taste like despair, where you now seek for a greater purpose in your life, then it is time to look within. It is time to seize consuming yourself and begin to listen and express yourself. Leave that behind, which no longer serves you but causes only misery. Be brave, step forward and rise in the glory of yourself. You have a tremendous power to be used. (Special notice regarding relationships !)
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